What do I do other than wait around for term to start again? Oh, sure, I can do things - go for a walk, read a novel, have a 12 hour kanji session, skype with my cats - but it all seems a bit... pointless. Maybe it's part of living in the bubble of a university city, but time outside of term just doesn't feel real. Like it ought to be taken care of with one of those calendar sequences you get in films.
I still don't really know what to make of being back. Everything seems to be going fine. I think that's why I'm so disconcerted. There's never been any point in my life where things have been going fine, so I'm inclined to think something must be seriously wrong. Waking up in the morning without anything to worry about, going to bed in the evening without anything to regret. It's too easy. I'm functioning on autopilot. I'm not really thinking about anything. I don't have to think about anything. Maybe this is how "normal people" live? It's a pretty novel experience at any rate, so I'm happy to let it continue for now.
Holiday reading! Well, probably more holiday room decorations. But who can resist getting out an overnight loan for a whole month? One of the most satisfying feelings I know. Really. Okay, I might be selling myself a little short here. I mean, I've been working pretty well. On the Japanese labour movement at least. Maybe not so much those other things (you know, the important ones). I know from last time that it's more-or-less essential that I get through most of next term's politics reading before it begins. And that you should probably go into the first session knowing at least a little more than the name of the current prime minister. (Hopefully that will go unremembered....)
I still have my history supervision tomorrow, so I suppose there's still something sustaining me. I expect to be thoroughly lost at 4 pm tomorrow. I'm fairly nervous about it, actually. I hadn't realised until now. I guess it's because the only non-language supervision that I've had alone this term was about ten minutes of "very good!". I haven't really had to deal with criticism, or justifying my work for over a year. And I made the mistake of writing on my main area of interest again, which makes it all the more personal.
I don't think there's anything more obnoxious than blogging a screen cap of your end-of-term report. Just... humour me. I don't think I've ever had a report in my entire life that wasn't at least half negative, so this is definitely a new experience. Thinking back to where I was a year ago, I'm going to allow myself to be a little self-congratulatory.
Anyhow, I guess it's time to try and make myself look forward. It's not like I have any shortage of things to do. Translation, reading, start planning the year abroad, finally take out the eight weeks of accumulated recycling filling my wardrobe...
I just wish that the clock ticking away was enough to convince me that time isn't really standing still.
